26 Apr
[email protected] Success

Self-Sabotage

Check yourself before you wreck yourself.—Karima Mariama

We’ve all been there.  Our confidence levels have slipped; our “gremlins” are telling us “no” when our inner self is telling us “yes, you can do it”.  We’re hesitant to move forward, and we sometimes stall or tune out.

Karima Mariama provides 5 Self-Sabotaging Behaviors we should be aware of and make efforts to avoid.

1. Comparing yourself to others
Too much focus on others is bad for business and worse for self-confidence. (That does not mean we can’t learn from others, but if we’re constantly comparing, we’ll always find someone that “does it better”).

2. Failure to take risks and consistently challenge yourself
The most successful people are always pushing limits and expanding boundaries. Accept that things don’t always go as planned, but don’t settle. Be persistent; and always strive for new ways to do more.

3. Succumbing to distractions
Increase your ability to accomplish tasks by limiting your access to certain distractions. Be cognizant of the time spent on social media and your cell phone – is it time well spent?

4. Inaction
Part of the reason we procrastinate is because we look at big projects and we don’t know where to start. Break the required actions into smaller components and don’t be afraid to ask for assistance when needed.

5. An unwillingness to relinquish past mistakes
Try to tune out the negative self-talk; Be kind to yourself. Remember, to err is human; to forgive yourself is divine.

Mistakes and missteps happen; we need to own them, learn from them, and assess what to do differently so they are not repeated. We also need to avoid self-sabotage.

In the words of Travis Bradberry: Smart, successful people are by no means immune to making mistakes; they simply have the tools in place to learn from their errors.

Indeed!

THIS WEEK’S QWIKTIP!

Read more –  about TIME WASTERS

19 Apr
[email protected] Interpersonal Skills, Leadership

The Enforcer

Never lose sight of the fact that the most important yardstick of your success will be how you treat other people – your family, friends, and coworkers, and even strangers you meet along the way.—Barbara Bush

This week Barbara Bush, both the wife and mother of former U.S. Presidents, passed away.  She was known for her humor (sometimes biting), her fondness for wearing pearls, and she was lovingly referred to as “the enforcer”.

Although not a political leader, she was a leader in her own right. She focused on nonpartisan social issues, and volunteered and promoted causes that would especially help children.

Mrs. Bush’s quote reminded us of another quote: I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.— Maya Angelou

As leaders, we’ll at some point find it necessary to deliver tough messages, but it can be done in an honoring way and with aplomb. We may need to practice our delivery to ensure our message is clearly understood, that it is delivered with compassion, and that those impacted are not left feeling that they were treated disrespectfully.

In the past we’ve highlighted behaviors that Jim Rohn (author and motivational speaker) identified as key leadership traits, and it never hurts to repeat them:

  • Learn to be strong but not impolite
  • Learn to be kind but not weak
  • Learn to be bold but not a bully
  • Learn to be humble but not timid
  • Learn to be proud but not arrogant
  • Learn to develop humor without folly
  • Learn to deal in realities

Depending on the situation and the role we play, we too may be viewed as an enforcer, but if we apply our leadership skills effectively, our “yardstick of success” for how we treat others can still be favorable.

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QWIKTIPS – click here to read more about MAKING A DIFFERENCE

12 Apr
[email protected] Leadership, Success

Collaborative – Yes or No?

Collaboration divides the task and multiplies the success.–unknown

In the past couple of weeks we’ve talked about two conflict styles – avoiding and competing.  Both have their down-sides, and both have situations when they can be used effectively.

As leaders we need to understand that conflict in the workplace in inevitable, and we need to know when to leverage each conflict mode so the differences don’t escalate into unhealthy situations.

This week we’ll share information about conflict style COLLABORATIVE. This style is viewed as a “win-win” since those with opposing views work together to find a solution that fully satisfies each of their concerns.

Skills associated with using the collaborative style include:

  • Identify both people’s underlying concerns
  • Create conditions that enable collaboration
  • State the conflict as a mutual problem
  • Analyze input with an open mind
  • Listen objectively and respond positively
  • Brainstorm solutions and pick the best one
  • Be open to the notion that what you felt initially may be replaced by a better solution

Ralph H. Kilmann, co-author of the Thomas-Kilmann Instrument (TKI) published a research study that correlated the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) results with TKI.

The findings reflected that people who were extraverted (those with “E” as the first letter of their MBTI type) were more likely to use the collaborative mode during times of conflict. He felt this was because collaborating required extra energy for the interactions required for discussing concerns with others.

He also felt that with awareness, those that typed out as “I” (introvert) can choose to engage in collaborative discussions when they’re willing and comfortable with putting forth extra effort.

Can you think of a time when the collaborative style would not serve you well? In general, it’s the most optimal style to use, but because it is time consuming, you may need to leverage other styles to drive solutions when time is of the essence.

Remember, all conflict modes have a time and place; effective leaders know when each style is most appropriate.

THIS WEEK’S QWIKTIP!

QWIKTIPS – click to read about CONFIDENCE AND COMPETENCE

05 Apr
[email protected] Leadership

Do You Have A Need To Win?

I would submit effectively dealing with conflict is one of the most valuable skills a leader can possess.—Mike Myatt

Last week we talked about how many leaders struggle with addressing conflict, and as a result the conflict is sometimes avoided. We also shared that there is a time and place to be an “avoider”, but when used inappropriately, avoiders may be viewed as weak and unassertive.

Now we’re switching gears. Do you have a need to win? Are you uncooperative and assertive? Are you power oriented? If yes, you’ll likely score high in the “compete” style.  This style may not serve you well. You may win, but it also means someone loses; not an ideal work relationship!

For those familiar with the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator® (MBTI), the types most aligned with the competitive style are types ESTJ (extroverted-sensing-thinking-judging) and ENTJ (extroverted-intuitive-thinking-judging).

These types prefer facts and data, and may not be as concerned about the feelings and impact their style may have on others. Just something to be aware of!

All styles have a time and place and the compete mode is no different. It can be effective when:

  • You’ve considered all styles and competing is truly the most effective
  • Quick, decisive actions are vital (ex. emergencies)
  • When unpopular actions are mandated/non-negotiable (ex. cost cutting, audit points, rule enforcement)
  • When a stand must be taken and there is not time for collaboration
  • Defending something you know is correct
  • When one’s position is being challenged/insubordination occurs

We suggest using this style on a limited basis as the consequences may include:

  • Feelings of intimidation which may shut down lines of communication
  • Strained relationships
  • Resentment and retaliation
  • A lack of commitment
  • A lack of caring

When there is a need to use the “compete” mode, pay special attention to your tone and body language. There’s no need to make the situation even more confrontational than it already is.

As we’ve stated before, conflict in the workplace is unavoidable; what’s key is to prevent the conflict from escalating into an unhealthy situation.  Productivity, communication, collaboration, inspiration, morale, and growth will all suffer if not properly managed.

The “compete” mode has a time place, just use it sparingly!

THIS WEEK’S QWIKTIP!

QWIKTIPS – click to read about ACTIONS and BELIEFS