Conflict consistently seems to be a topic of interest. Why? Because we all have differing opinions, generally feel “our way is the best way” and don’t always listen or try to learn from differing thoughts.

Kenneth W. Thomas and Ralph H. Kilmann designed a conflict tool that measures a person’s behavior in situations of conflict or simply when differences are being experienced.

Their tool evaluates two dimensions:

1. Assertiveness: the extent to which the person attempts to satisfy his own concerns
2. Cooperativeness: the extent to which the person attempts to satisfy the other person’s concerns

And they identified 5 Modes of Conflict as:

1. Competing
2. Accommodating
3. Avoiding
4. Collaborating
5. Compromising

All modes have a purpose; what’s key is knowing when to use each mode with the skill to perform each one well. This also means understanding the impacts when a mode is under or over-used.

Here are some sample phrases to help mitigate conflict:

• Tell me more
• I appreciate your viewpoint
• Do you mind if we postpone this conversation, I need time to think it through
• Let’s try to see things from each other’s perspective
• How can we move forward
• Let’s brainstorm some options

As leaders, we need to ensure that differences are addressed in a healthy manner with a focus on creating a positive work culture. The result will be stronger relationships, interactions where innovating thinking can flourish, and the ability to achieve more.