As leaders, it’s not unusual for us to have the need to conduct uncomfortable conversations. Examples include missed deliverables, lack of quality, conflict between colleagues, complaints from clients, and the list goes on.
We need to remind ourselves that when these kinds of conversations are delivered with positive intent, they become development opportunities for career growth.
Granted, not everything we share will be well received, and it’s helpful to avoid conducting these kinds of conversations in the midst of emotions and conflict.
Tips include:
Determine your audience:
- Is this conversation for just one person or do multiple people need to be involved?
Stay focused and identify your objective:
- What do you want to accomplish as a result of the discussion?
- How do you want the relationship or situation to proceed?
- What are the next steps? What kind of follow-up is required?
Describe:
- The behavior/situation and share the known facts
- Use concrete terms and be specific about the issue you’re addressing
- Focus on the specific behavior, NOT the personality of the person(s)
- Whenever possible include the specific time(s), place, and frequency of the behavior
Share:
- What was impacted because of this issue? Ex. Time, money, quality, service, relationships, etc
- Remain calm and deliver your message in a healthy, respectful manner
- How can a “repeat” of the issue be mitigated? Is your help needed?
Expect and plan for objections/detours/obstacles:
- Keep an open mind but don’t get off track
- Listen to possible differing viewpoints and ask how they feel about the situation
- Be clear about your desired goal and expectations, and ask again if anything is needed of you.
In conclusion:
- Summarize your specific agreement
- Obtain concurrence for any next steps
- If appropriate, schedule a follow-up session.
Don’t postpone having these kinds of conversations, they may be uncomfortable but when held in a timely and respectful manner, they will lessen the risk of negatively impacting productivity, morale, and retention rates.
Don’t let the thought of uncomfortable conversations keep you up at night!
Sincerely,
Mike and Jan