25 Jun
[email protected] Communication, Leadership

Conversations That Keep You Up

Your ability to speak up about issues that weigh you down is crucial to your success at work and life.—Maggie Warrell

As leaders we need to excel in communication, and that includes having difficult conversations. Have you ever been in a situation where you know you need to address negative behaviors or missed deliverables, and you feel it will be so uncomfortable it actually impacts your ability to sleep? If yes, you’re not alone.

Conducting a difficult conversation is quite frankly, difficult. As a result, we frequently let it fall to the bottom of our “to do” list, which only makes the situation worse (and allows our own anxiety to grow!).

Here are some tips:

Be specific and objective about the behavior or  situation you wish to discuss

Address the issue as soon as possible

Explain the impacts of the situation
1. Was there an impact to colleagues, business
partners, or clients? If yes, what?
2. Were any goals or desired results missed? Be
specific.
3. Is this a one-time issue or a re-occurring
problem?
4. Focus on the specific behavior/issue, NOT the
personality of the person

Allow the person to share their perspective
1. Actively listen and respond to what is being
communicated
2. Offer suggestions, solutions or development
opportunities if applicable
3. Was it a simple and isolated mistake? Was there
ill-intent?

Avoid conducting the conversation in the midst of emotions and conflict
1. Deliver your message in a healthy, respectful
manner
2. Stay focused and clearly state desired changes
3. Manage your emotions (remember, the delivery is
as important as the message!)

Expect and plan for objections/detours/obstacles; restate your expectations
1. Stay focused on what needs to change and why
2. Are consequences appropriate?
3. Provide feedback; share that the bottom line is to
help the person be more effective, improve
performance, relationships, etc

After you conduct your conversation, remember to summarize your specific agreement, and if appropriate, schedule a follow-up session.

What kinds of conversations keep you up at night? Make conducting them a priority!

Conversations create change . . .
–Ellen Page

18 Jun
[email protected] Leadership

You Have To Be Genuine

It’s not enough to just go through the motions, trying to demonstrate qualities that are associated with emotional intelligence. You have to be genuine.
—Travis Bradberry

We’ve talked about the need for Emotional Intelligence (EQ) and how some consider EQ to be the single biggest predictor of high performance in the workplace as well as the strongest driver of leadership and personal excellence.

Author and provider of EQ testing Travis Bradberry adds that “Emotional intelligence won’t do a thing for you if you aren’t genuine.” Genuine, Real, and Authentic = what people want in leadership.

Bradberry provides the following:

1.Genuine people don’t try to make people like them: Genuine people are who they are. They know that some people will like them, and some won’t.

2.They don’t pass judgment: Genuine people are open-minded, which makes them approachable and interesting to others.

3.They forge their own paths: They do what they believe to be the right thing, and they’re not swayed by the fact that somebody might not like it.

4.They are generous: Genuine people are unfailingly generous with whom they know, what they know and the resources they have access to.

5.They treat EVERYONE with respect: Genuine people treat everyone with respect because they believe they’re no better than anyone else.

6.They aren’t motivated by material things: Their happiness comes from within.

7.They are trustworthy: People gravitate toward those who are genuine because they know they can trust them.

8.They are thick-skinned: They’re able to objectively evaluate negative and constructive feedback.

9.They put away their phones: When genuine people commit to a conversation, they focus all of their energy on it.

10.They aren’t driven by ego: They simply do what needs to be done.

11.They aren’t hypocrites: Genuine people practice what they preach.

12.They don’t brag: Genuine people know who they are. They are confident enough to be comfortable in their own skin.

Think of the best leader you’ve ever worked for. How many of the behaviors above did they exhibit? Were they “genuine”? What can you learn from them?

A genuine leader is not a searcher for consensus but a molder of consensus.
–Martin Luther King, Jr.

11 Jun
[email protected] Decision Making

Decisions, Decisions

You’ll never have all the information you need to make a decision.  If you did, it would be a foregone conclusion, not a decision.
– David Mahoney, Jr.

How skilled do you feel you are at decision making? Some have no issues, but others find it challenging and even stressful, especially when the decision must be made “under fire”. 

Those that are effective decision makers generally:

  • Make decisions based on analysis, knowledge, and experience
  • Avoid letting emotions impact their decision
  • Take into account deadlines, obtain as many details as possible, and are not afraid to make a decision based on what they know
  • Solicit others for advice and ideas when they question if they are making sound decisions
  • Understand that mistakes may happen!

Personal styles and preferences are also a factor. Many of us are familiar with Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), and our type impacts our Decision Making Preferences. Here’s a recap of the 1st (E vs I) and 4th (J vs P) indicators:

Type E (Extraversion) are more likely to:
Want to talk it through first
Respond in an energetic way
Start with external data
Crave breadth
Consider impact on environment first
Share thoughts and feelings freely

Type I (Introversion) are more likely to:
Want to think it through first
Respond in a measured way
Start with internal data
Crave depth
Consider impact on self first
Share thoughts and feelings carefully

Type J (Judging) are more likely to:
Want a decision now
Expect to make progress
Invite closure
Demonstrate commitment to the agreed upon solution
Feel discomfort until a decision is made
Desire certainty

Type P (Perceiving) are more likely to:
Want to postpone making a decision
Expect time to process
Invite new information
Stay open to changing the solution
Feel discomfort rejecting decision options
Desire flexibility

If your “gut” is telling you something just does not feel right with your decision, take a few hours or even a day or two to re-think it.  Rarely does a decision need to be made NOW. If it does, then re-assess what’s known (facts, impacts, historicals), and trust yourself to make the best decision you can. Don’t be afraid to ask others for their input!

Our decisions may not always be perfect and additional information may come to light, but we can commit to conducting due diligence allowing us to make the best decision at that time.

What’s your comfort level with decision making? Do you think your “type” preference is a factor?

Checking the results of a decision against its expectations shows executives what their strengths are, where they need to improve, and where they lack knowledge or information.–Peter Drucker

04 Jun
[email protected] Leadership

The Desire To Be Lead

We need to be the type of leader we would follow.

What type of leader would you follow? Do you possess the skills and behaviors of what you describe? What about during times of crises?

Fortune Magazine’s Geoff Colvin writes about 3 Keys To Leading In A Crisis and shares that leaders will benefit by following a few principles; excerpts include:

People Want To Be Led
No group accomplishes much if no one is in charge. In a life-threatening historic crisis, we want direction more than ever.

We want a leader who has the power we do not, and we look to the leader to assume part of our burden allowing us to sleep at night. If you’re in charge – be in charge.

Be Decisive
In a crisis, even people who would normally be at one another’s throats accepts that major decisions must be made quickly (and possibly debated after the fact).

The difficulty is that just when decisions are most easily accepted, they’re hardest to make. Decisions are made with incomplete information; stakes are high, yet firm (and timely) decisions must be made.

Define Reality and Give Hope
People hunger for the unvarnished truth about their organization and prospects and they can sense evasion a mile away.

The leader’s art is outlining reality unflinchingly and framing it as a challenge that can be met, not as a disaster that must be endured. Effective leaders never make a promise that can’t be kept with 100% certainty; they do offer realistic reasons for hope.

Followers want to trust their leader; they want their leaders to be authentic and lead with integrity.  They want their leaders to communicate and keep in touch, they want re-assurance, and they want to know what plans are in place for dealing with the change(s).

Tall orders, and as John Maxwell says “A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way.”

Are you the type of leader you would follow?

There are leaders and there are those who lead. Leaders hold a position of power or influence. Those who lead inspire us.
-Simon Sinek