Skillfully Influence Others – COMPASS Series #10

The final component in our COMPASS series is about how to skillfully influence others.

Let’s start by agreeing on the premise that we’re all leaders since we all have the ability to influence others. But how do we do that?

A great way to influence others is to understand their goals. What are they trying to achieve? What obstacles are they facing? How could they be helped? Do they want assistance?

If yes, determine what and how you can help them attain each goal. A friend found this formula: LEAP = Listen, Empathize, Agree, and Plan.

Listen to their goals, empathize with their situation, agree on tasks, and begin to plan.

Note: To access PeopleTek’s Leadership COMPASS, visit  https://peopletekcoaching.com/about and scroll to the bottom of the page.

The PeopleTek COMPASS identifies key components for providing direction and for obtaining desired results. Use it throughout your career!

If the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail.
–Mark Twain

The key to successful leadership today is influence, not authority.
–Kenneth Blanchard

Skillfully Influencing Others

Past experiences, our observations, and how we’ve interpreted situations impact how we influence others. This includes utilizing our own attitudes and beliefs, and our perceptions of the attitudes and beliefs others.

Our “self-talk” greatly impacts if and how we’ll influence others. A lack of confidence will inhibit us from expressing our opinions, especially when we fear rejection.

There are two different styles that are used in influencing others:

  1. Openness in communication
  2. Consideration for others

Our level of openness is what dictates how willing we are to share our life experiences, our thoughts, and our emotions with others. (In contrast with volunteering minimal information).

Consideration is displayed by our willingness to accept and respond to others in the way they prefer. To some this includes an intensity to preserve the rights of others as they would their own.  The opposing style is to display little respect for the opinions, feelings, and reactions of others, with no interest in showing support.

In addition to being open and considerate of others, those that skillfully and positively influencing others are aware of and appropriately utilize the following:

  • Body posture
  • Facial expression
  • Eye contact
  • Tone of voice
  • Fluency of speech
  • Directness of speech
  • Verbal behavior

Passion has a lot to do with the effort we’ll make to influence others.  If passion is missing, it’s easy to defer to others, and step back. When passion exists, we’re much more inclined to influence others to a greater extent, and risk disagreement or rejection.

QWIKCOACH says:

To get others to see or understand your point of view, you need to show them how your point of view or approach would help them to achieve their goals more easily and/or effectively.

Nothing is more important than having the facts and knowing what you’re talking about. Therefore, to be sure you’ve done all your homework any time you want to present your ideas in a way that is most likely to influence others, write down every possible question that you think they might ask, and prepare yourself by knowing the answer to each one.

Learn more from QwikCoach

Now complete your COMPASS. Click here and scroll to the bottom to access the COMPASS template.

Do you naturally use your influencing skills? Is it an effort? How do you respond to rejection?

What are your strengths and what could you change in regards to skillfully influencing others? What would others say about your skill to influence others?

Recommended reading:

Getting To YesRoger Fisher, William L. Ury and Bruce Patton

How to Win friends and Influence People–Dale Carnegie

By skillfully influencing others, productivity gains of 2 to 3 hours a week are realized. How much are you contributing to an increase in productivity?

Enhancing & Sustaining Relationships


As we continue our COMPASS series, this week’s topic is the need to Sustain and Enhance Relationships. Successful leaders are proficient in managing relationships and building networks. They possess the ability to find common ground and build rapport and make interpersonal relationships positive, supportive, clear, and empowering. Regardless if the relationship is with your manager, customer, peer, or business partner, by creating and sustaining relationships, you will be more effective!

Use the PeopleTek COMPASS throughout your career!

In organizations, real power and energy is generated through relationships. The patterns of relationships and the capacities to form them are more important than tasks, functions, roles, and positions.

–Margaret Wheatly Leadership and the New Science

Enhancing and Sustaining Relationships

People and relationships matter! The existence of strong working relationships creates energy, reduces turnover, increases satisfaction levels, and grows results.

Tips to Help Build Relationships

  • Be receptive to coaching or direction from those you trust and respect
  • Focus on expectations and understand desired results
  • Stay current on required work skills
  • Share your successes and accomplishments
  • Escalate issues and problems immediately (no one wants to be blindsided!)
  • Be loyal to and support your organization; avoid gossip
  • If integrity issues exist, escalate them with facts and specific events
  • Solicit feedback to hear perceptions of what’s working well and what is not
  • Consider how you respond to situations; are you contributing to a non-productive relationship? Key questions to ask to diffuse any situation and build relationships are:
    • “What could I do to help?
    • “How can I improve the situation, issue, etc”
    • “So you think I could . . . ”

Now get a copy of your own COMPASS!

How readily do you establish new relationships? Do you take the time to nurture and sustain already established relationships? What are your strengths and what could you change in regards to relationship building? How do others view your relationship capabilities?

QwikCoach Summary of Our Leadership COMPASS

A person’s frame of reference is his or her unique and individual perspective or personal “bias” – a sort of perceptual “filter” through which that person views the world. It determines how the individual interprets situations and other people’s words, actions, and beliefs – and how others interpret his or hers. Understanding “frame of reference” is key to building strong and effective relationships.

Learn More

Recommended Reading

Strengths-Based Leadership – Tom Rath and Barry Conchie

The Feiner Points Of Leadership – Michael Feiner

Invest in sustaining and enhancing your relationships to increase levels of success!